


moments of gold

by silentbutdeadly



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drunkenness, Getting Back Together, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-11 23:22:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19936201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentbutdeadly/pseuds/silentbutdeadly
Summary: They're at a wedding (not theirs, definitely not theirs) and all Adam wants is for Takashi to look at him.





	moments of gold

“He’s so fucking stupid.”

Matt looks on with barely hidden delight. “Mm, tell me more,” he yells. Adam can barely hear him over the music — the DJ is shit, Adam thinks uncharitably. You’d think he’d know to turn that shit down during dinner. 

“I look so fucking good tonight,” Adam says, despairingly, “and he doesn’t even fucking notice.” He shoves the flaps of his jacket back to show the waistcoat of his suit, newly bought and tailored for Keith and Lance’s wedding. “Is he blind?”

Matt snickers. Adam glares and it turns into a cough, politely hidden in a fancy blue napkin. “No, he’s just, uh, probably busy being Keith’s best man.” 

Adam rolls his eyes. “Keith’s already fucking married, Matt. His job is done.” The wedding, obviously, was fucking beautiful. A nice, comfy affair, where Keith and Lance got roasted in front of everyone they loved. Takashi cried, because he’s still a baby no matter how grey and grizzled he says he is, and if Adam wiped away a few tears here and there, well, hey, he’d always been a sympathetic crier.

Even with tears dripping down his face, Takashi still looked like Adam’s dreams come to life. Evidently, he’s featured in a lot of other people’s dreams, too — he’s been dragged to the bar for shots nearly as often as the grooms themselves., and someone’s hand is always on his arm, or waist, or thigh. It’s the remaining shreds of public decency that keep people from touching his ass, and even then, Adam thinks, they’d risk it for that split second of glorious heroic booty.

If this were ten years ago, it’d be his hand on Takashi’s ass — no question about it. But now, even though Adam’s literally fought on the front lines of the war, even though he “died” and came back with a vengeance and a rebel troop ready to kick some alien ass, now— 

Now he’s just glaring across the room at some punk with his hand on Takashi’s shoulder.

Matt winces. “Shit, dude, you could kill someone with that look.” He pats Adam’s arm gently. “It’s okay, buddy, you look fine as hell.” 

Matt’s words break through the simmering wall of Adam’s ire and squeeze his tender, battered heart. He lurches forward and grabs Matt’s hands in his own. “I love you,” Adam tells him. Matt needs to understand how important this declaration is — he’s making intense eye contact and everything. “You’re a good friend. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Aww, buddy, I love you too!” Matt’s grin twitches and he scoots closer, sliding his knees between Adam’s legs.

Adam welcomes it all and draws Matt closer. “You’re not stupid at all,” he says, “you’re my best friend in the whole world.”

Someone coughs sharply behind him. Startled, Adam twists as much as he can without letting go of Matt. He pouts when he sees who it is. 

“Hey guys,” Takashi says in greeting. He’s barely slurring, his eyes clear and focused. If Adam squints, he’s just a little bit pink around his scar, but nothing else gives away the number of drinks he’s had. Maybe his breath, if Adam got near enough — but if he were that close to Takashi’s mouth he’d be tasting it, not smelling it. Adam frowns and tries sniffing it anyway. 

Takashi does that star-student-record-breaker-heartthrob smile of his that’s only gotten more intoxicating with time. “What’s going on?” 

Matt smiles at him like a cat, all squinty and self-satisfied. “Adam just told me he loves me.”

A furrow appears between Takashi’s eyebrows, a little divot that Adam’s always loved to smooth over. “Oh, really?” Shiro asks. He turns back to Adam. “Romantically or platonically?”

Adam scoffs. “Platonically,” he answers. He draws out every single syllable so that Takashi gets it into his thick head that no, actually, Matt isn’t the one that Adam wants to fuck until his thighs collapse beneath him. Nor is he the man that Adam wants to kiss, or cuddle, or wake up to in the morning. Adam scowls. “You’re so fucking oblivious.” If he didn’t notice Adam pressed up against him from shoulder to knee during a group selfie, well, then, is there anything else to say?

Takashi’s eyebrows shoot up his perfect forehead and Adam’s displeasure intensifies. “Me?” he asks guilelessly. His eyes are shining, damn him.

“No,” Adam responds, smeared with sarcasm and tequila, “fucking Matt over here. Yes, you, goddamn it.”

“What did I do?”

Fuck, Takashi looks so concerned. “Nothing!” Adam cries out. “Absolutely fucking nothing! That’s the whole fucking point! You’ve done fuck shit tonight, holy fuck.” He is not going to cry. If he cries in front of Takashi and Matt he’s never going to hear the fucking end of it. Fuck emotions, anyways. 

“I have no idea what’s going on,” Takashi says, bewildered. He looks at Matt, who shrugs.

“I’m just gonna pop on over to the bar and grab me some shots,” Matt says. He snaps some finger guns and disappears immediately.

“Get me some too,” Adam whines after him. It’s not as if he’s avoiding Takashi or anything, now that he’s alone with him. Perish the thought. 

The irony is that Adam would very much like to be alone with him, preferably in a dark room with their clothes off. The caveat is that he’d really only do it if, say, he and Takashi were somehow betrothed, or at least within the spectrum of dating. Adam hasn’t dated anyone since Takashi left, all those years ago. He’d tried, but first it was too early and then it was too late, what with the wars and the aliens and all. And his own death, too. He’s never been gladder to have skipped over the whole ordeal in an amnesiac haze. His first memory post-death is waking up to the dingy interior of a rebel spaceship. He’d only found out about the scarring on his face when he looked into a mirror and realized he’d do well as a villain in one of those vintage Batman films — the only problem was that he’d never been particularly handsome, so it wasn’t like anything had really been lost in the first place. 

Takashi used to tell him he was handsome. 

“Fuck,” he grimaces. The remembrance of his loss is almost physical, like a cramp that’s taken him down to the floor. Some sober part of his mind registers the theatrics of it all and sighs in a pantomime of disapproval. Takashi, after all, is right in front of him. He’s even kneeling with a hand on his knee. It’s classic Takashi — comfort and pain all at once. Adam squeezes his eyes shut. 

“What’s wrong?” Takashi asks. Closing his eyes was a mistake — every one of his senses is laser-focused on Takashi. It’s utterly overwhelming.

Humiliation and frustration bloom in the redness of his cheeks. He’d rather be devastated in private, so he covers his eyes with his hands — if he can’t see Takashi, Takashi can’t see him either. 

“It’s nothing,” Adam groans, shooing Takashi away, “nothing at all. Go back to Sparkly McAssface over there and make out with him in a corner.” Adam refuses to look at him because he’s a contrary bastard — he may have told him to fuck off, but he doesn’t actually want to see Takashi walk away to some bright young thing with stars in his eyes. 

He gives Takashi a few seconds to make his escape. He peeks through his fingers and startles when he sees Takashi, still crouched at his feet. He looks like he’s about to cry. 

Suddenly, the only thing on Adam’s mind is to chase away Takashi’s sadness. His hands move of their own accord, cupping Takashi’s cheeks and wiping away tears yet to fall. “No, no, no, no, no,” he babbles. “No, don’t cry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it, please don’t cry.” The years of separation fade away as Adam kisses him like he has so many times before, sweet and insistent, apologetic and full of love. 

There’s a scrape of beard on his face. It’s a strange sensation, incongruent with something that should be as familiar as breathing — 

And the present comes crashing back in full force.

He and Takashi aren’t together, they haven’t been for a long time, and he’s making out with his ex-fiance in the middle of the wedding that isn’t theirs. 

He pulls away in horror, stumbling over chair legs and too-long tablecloths. He’s ruined, now — he’s had a taste of Takashi after all these years and he’s certain there’s no going back. He still turns to go; maybe there’s a place in the castle where he can hide and mourn and patch himself together again.

He’s nearly at the exit when a strong hand grabs his wrist. His instincts take over and he jerks his arm free — only to bring Takashi close to him once more. 

Takashi pulls him through the exit and into the castle hallway. The door slides shut after them, muting the songs of celebration and leaving them in a ringing silence, broken only by the sound of their breaths. 

Takashi sags against the wall and pulls Adam next to him. It’s his right arm, Adam notices belatedly, that’s wrapped gently around his wrist. Adam tugs his arm away one more time. He gives up when Takashi moves to follow him.

He sighs. “I’m sorry I kissed you,” he apologizes stiffly. “I know we’re not like that anymore. I had no right.” Saying it out loud leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, even though it’s a truth he’s known for years. He can’t look Takashi in the eye.

“If I told you I wanted you to, would that make a difference?” 

Adam laughs humourlessly. “Even if you did, we’re talking in hypotheticals. It doesn’t matter either way.” 

Takashi’s hand slides down Adam’s arm to grasp his hand. “What if I told you I still loved you, and wanted you forever?” 

Adam’s chest hurts from the tenderness he knows he can’t have. “Stop doing this. It’s not nice, not when you know I’m still gone over you.” He looks up and stares Takashi in the eye. “Stop offering things you know you can’t give.” 

Takashi’s face crumples. “Adam,” he says, like a prayer sent the highest powers, “I’d give you the world.”

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to Den and Lavin for being hella enablers in the adashi group chat and giving me the good kush in this starved, starved world.
> 
> Claire, darling, thank you for being the best beta I could ask for.
> 
> Lastly: Thanks, G. Couldn't have done it without you. 
> 
> You can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/klanceitup/) and [tumblr](https://kuxokawa.tumblr.com)!


End file.
